Aristotle famously said that friendship is one of those things one cannot do without and that even someone with lots of other goods would not choose to do without friendship (cf. Nichomachean Ethics, Books 8-9). Human experience confirms Aristotle’s observation. In contrast, however, a 2024 study found that 17% of Americans appear to have no close friends. This increasing epidemic of friendlessness in contemporary society seems to be one of the things contributing to our growing cultural distress.
So it is edifying to see that our new Pope seems to have friends and to appreciate his friendships – whether with fellow Augustinians (photo) or with his two brothers or with others. I have often worried whether one of the downsides of moving people around too much in ministry – and especially the assignment of bishops to dioceses where they have no roots (and hence no friends) – has been a challenging epidemic of loneliness among clergy and religious, who (having appropriately foregone the interpersonal benefits of marriage and family) may need more friends not less.
No doubt the power of the Holy Spirit and the grace of the sacraments can compensate in extreme circumstances when natural helps are wanting. Yet grace builds on nature, and the ordinary natural way we grow as persons – and also as priests and religious – is through human interactions and relationships. This may be especially facilitated in religious communities, which are sometimes erroneously assimilated to a familial model, but are better appreciated as fellowships of adult friends committed to one another in a common consecrated or apostolic life.
Here again the experience of Pope Leo may be instructive. As a priest, our new Pope had been deeply rooted in the common life of his religious community, the Order of Saint Augustine. The Rule of Saint Augustine, thought to be the oldest such religious rule in the Latin West, reflects its origins in Augustine’s own personal attempts at religious community life, which began and developed from a fellowship of friends. The communities Augustine established first as Cassiciacum, then at Tagaste, and finally at Hippo, were originally composed of close friends, colleagues, and companions on Augustine’s philosophical and religious journey. His Rule articulates a spirituality of community life, rooted in authentic care for one another, starting with basic material matters.
Like Aristotle before him, Augustine was obviously on to something important, which we have forgotten at our peril!
Photo: Pope Leo XIV attends the birthday of Fr. Alejandro Moral OSA, Prior General of the Order of Saint Augustine, June 1, 2025. Credit: Fondazione Agostiniani nel Mondo.
